World

If sex isn’t right, I give new lovers one month to improve or they’re dumped, says Love Island’s Meghan Barton-Hanson English Headline


FOR me, one of the best things about this brilliant series of Married at First Sight has been seeing such sexually empowered and liberated females.

Girls like Gemma and Kasia are what representation looks like to me, and are needed to show young women it’s OK to be open, confident and honest about sex.

One of the best things about this brilliant series of Married at First Sight has been seeing such sexually liberated females, reveals Megan Barton-Hanson

5

One of the best things about this brilliant series of Married at First Sight has been seeing such sexually liberated females, reveals Megan Barton-HansonCredit: Playful Promises
Megan has dated Towie star turned OnlyFans glamour girl Demi Sims

5

Megan has dated Towie star turned OnlyFans glamour girl Demi SimsCredit: Rex

What a shame they’ve been paired with men who simply aren’t having it.

You’d think it would be every man’s dream to be matched with women so sexually at ease with themselves.

Obviously not.

Pursuing a relationship that is lacking sexual compatibility is a waste of time, because it is crucial to its success.

Furious MAFS UK fans all saying the same thing as Whitney and Matt stay on show
MAFS UK's Gemma reveals moment groom threatened to 'choke her in bed'

Without it, you’re doomed.

Not just because of the pleasure sex brings, but also because it’s a way to truly connect with your partner. If it’s not there from the off, you’re in trouble.

When you’re not on the same page sexually, your preferences are different or your sex drives completely mismatched, then one person is always going to be bugging the other and that is going to lead to arguments.

If one half of a couple is constantly feeling they have to beg for it, it’s going to make them feel insecure and that’s not a healthy way to live.

Especially at the beginning of a relationship when every-thing is meant to be new and exciting.

As time goes on and the novelty wears off, it’s unrealistic to be expecting sex three times a day. But if you’ve just got together and are already out of sync, that is a big warning sign.

Similarly, if the sex itself is no good at the start, that’s another big alarm bell.

I’m not saying sexual incompatibility is an immediate deal-breaker for me.

I wouldn’t call time on a new relationship just because of a disappointing debut performance in the bedroom. Everyone deserves a decent chance.

But in that situation, I’d put them on probation. I’d give them a month to improve, because it could be down to nerves or stress at work.

In an encouraging, non-patronising way, I’d suggest trying some different positions and seeing how that goes.

But if after a month they haven’t taken any direction and still haven’t got their act together, then it’s time for me to get my bags and run.

It’s best to be honest in this situation, even if it dents their ego a bit.

When I broke up with Wes I wasn’t very complimentary about him and said that he had 'a lot to learn' when it came to sex, says Megan

5

When I broke up with Wes I wasn’t very complimentary about him and said that he had ‘a lot to learn’ when it came to sex, says MeganCredit: Getty – Contributor
It's important to see what a person is like in bed before you start building a bond - pictured Megan with Towie star James Lock

5

It’s important to see what a person is like in bed before you start building a bond – pictured Megan with Towie star James LockCredit: Getty

You don’t have to be cruel, but saying something along the lines of, “You’re amazing and I love spending time with you . . . but the sex isn’t there for me so we’re just going to have to be friends” is a good way to handle it.

I had that conversation with someone recently. I respected him so much, he cracked me up and was the most intelligent person — I could listen to him talk all day.

But sexually, it just wasn’t there for me, and it got to the point where I couldn’t deny that any longer.

Sometimes you can have powerful sexual chemistry with someone but when you get them between the sheets, it’s no good.

That’s why it’s important to see what a person is like in bed before you start building a bond.

When I was on Love Island, I knew I was going to get criticised as a woman for having sex on TV.

But how could I decide whether to invest everything in this one person without knowing if we had compatibility in the bedroom?

Explicit questions

When me and my Love Island boyfriend Wes Nelson split up in January 2019, six months after leaving the villa, I wasn’t very complimentary about him and said that he had “a lot to learn” when it came to sex. I was very hurt by how we broke up, so I was just being vicious.

There have been other people I’ve ended it with because of a lack of sexual compatibility, but with Wes I was just being a little brat.

My relationship with Demi Sims on Celebs Go Dating later that year was a really tricky one because while I’d had female sexual experiences before, I’d never had a proper girlfriend.

Good on Kasia from MAFS for opening up these conversations - pictured with Kwame

5

Good on Kasia from MAFS for opening up these conversations – pictured with KwameCredit: Eroteme

I went into the show thinking I was going to find a female partner, but I was going on so many dates and just not clicking with anyone.

Demi came along and although she was right in a lot of ways, I knew it was more a friendship vibe.

I hold my hands up to that because I feel like I led her on and made out we could have potentially been more than just friends.

I was so desperate to have a girlfriend, but there wasn’t the sexual chemistry there for me.

Having said all that, great sex isn’t enough to sustain a relationship on its own.

The most sexually compatible partner I’ve had was (singer, TV host and footballer) Chelcee Grimes — my first female relationship — but other aspects were far from perfect.

We didn’t see eye to eye on a lot of things, but I stayed because the sex was so good.

I found out amazing “make-up” sex can only take you so far. Sexual desire for each other does play a big part for me, but you need to be suited in other areas and that means similar ambitions, mindsets and outlooks.

Unfortunately, some men just see me as a sexual object. I’ve had a lot of first dates where people have a version of me in their heads and will ask me really explicit things over dinner. Have I done this, have I tried that?

If I still worked as a legal PA, they would never have such audacity.

That’s when I know they just want to use me as an ego booster or a trophy to show off to their friends, and I get up and walk out.

Then you get the other extreme — men who are more insecure and think I’m scary and I’m going to eat them alive.

I want someone who can walk that avenue in between — sexually confident without needing to shout about it from the rooftops, and intelligent enough to know that my job is part of my life but doesn’t define me.

More than anything, though, I want more women to feel sexually empowered and really get to know their own bodies.

The first time I had sex I didn’t get what all the fuss was about. It wasn’t until I got a vibrator that I was like, “OK, now I get it”.

We need to educate young girls away from porn, such a bad representation of sex. It is made for the male gaze and degrades women.

That’s why I started my podcast You Come First — girls need to know that sex is not all about being performative for the guy.

So, good on Gemma and Kasia — and Cardi B, Amber Rose and even Beyonce who mentions OnlyFans on the remix of Megan Thee Stallion’s Savage — for opening up these conversations.

My purpose now is to inspire women to be their authentic selves.
There should be no shame whatsoever in wanting — and having — amazing sex. It’s about finding the right person to have it with.

  • Megan’s new lingerie range with Playful Promises, Megan x Wolf & Whistle, is available now at wolfandwhistle.co.uk and from Asos.





English Headline

Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Most Popular

To Top
%d bloggers like this: